This section is not in reference to the people that God puts around us to help us step into His identity for us. Instead it is about how we often try to use the people around us to meet our emotional needs. These needs are byproducts of the insecurities grown out of an identity that is not formed by God. 

When we live under the esteem of God, and we have rejected self estimation, then the esteem that other people offer loses its appeal. The only reason we needed other people’s acceptance is because our own evaluation is not a good foundation. When you evaluate yourself, then you will need confirmation that your evaluation is correct. But, people’s opinions are just as unreliable as our own. Pride seems to be the only time that self esteem works. God’s evaluation is perfect and pure. God’s evaluation is a strong foundation. God’s evaluation is reliable. When we are fully convinced of God’s opinion, our opinion, and the opinion of others becomes worthless compared to His.

Jesus had a lot to say about the opinions of men. 

John 5:31,37,41-42,44 NKJV
[31] “If I bear witness of Myself, My witness is not true. [37] And the Father Himself, who sent Me, has testified of Me. You have neither heard His voice at any time, nor seen His form. [41] “I do not receive honor from men. [42] But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you. [44] How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?

Jesus ties our lack of faith to the faith we are placing in other people’s opinions. Jesus is telling us that living by man’s opinions can not coexist with God’s opinion. Trying to have faith in both will cause internal conflict. “Of course you’re unable to believe in me. For you live for the praises of others and not for the praise that comes from the only true God.” -John 5:44 TPT. We should treat our own self evaluation the same way Jesus treats the opinions of men. Notice verse 31. “For if I were to make claims about myself, you would have reasons to doubt.” -John 5:31 TPT. Instead Jesus lives from the testimony of His Father. “But there is another who bears witness on my behalf, and I know that what he testifies of me is true.” -John 5:32 TPT. The only evaluation of us that actually matters is God‘s evaluation.

When we make claims about ourselves we intuitively know we have reasons to doubt. Living with an unsettled identity produces doubt within us. We become double minded, with two identities fighting within us. When we follow Jesus’s example, we get to take on His nature as Holy Spirit transforms us into the image we are receiving from Papa. 

When we put our full trust in God‘s evaluation of us our faith will operate as it was designed to.

Again, this is what the Spirit says: “And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” [7] Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” -Galatians 4:6-7 NKJV

2 Peter 1:3-4 TPT
[3] Everything we could ever need for life and complete devotion to God has already been deposited in us by his divine power. For all this was lavished upon us through the rich experience of knowing him who has called us by name and invited us to come to him through a glorious manifestation of his goodness. [4] As a result of this, he has given you magnificent promises that are beyond all price, so that through the power of these tremendous promises you can experience partnership with the divine nature, by which you have escaped the corrupt desires that are of the world.

Longing for acceptance and approval is often evidence that our old identity is still motivating us. We must complete the process of casting out the old identity and opinions about ourselves. Often this can include wrestling with ourselves until we are settled completely on what Holy Spirit has been saying. Let Father speak to you about who He created you to be; this helps a lot. What also helps is repenting of the lies we believe, and asking God what the truth is. This is the process of John 8:31. This process is explained in detail in Step 4. 

Proverbs 4:21-23 TPT
[21] Fill your thoughts with my words until they penetrate deep into your spirit. [22] Then, as you unwrap my words, they will impart true life and radiant health into the very core of your being. [23] So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life.

Pure faith is grown as we receive God’s perspective in intimacy. Faith rests upon the foundation of Who we discover God to be in the secret place. 

Doubt is influenced by two core issues:

  • How we view God in relation to us
  • How we view ourselves

Both of these issues are dealt with when we receive identity from God. You don’t have to try and fix these views yourself, nor should you try. Just bring them to God and ask Him to talk to you about them. As we do, Holy Spirit will establish our identity, which will fix both of these issues. This will eliminate our need for external validation. When we seek validation from others, it proves that we have not yet had our identity completely established In the secret place.